wisconsin

BJJ Updates – 3-7-2024

/ Matt Lutz

Chakara Status – Feelin’ Great

Once thing I noticed when I started BJJ: some people had tape all over their fingers. “What is the reason for this?” I wondered, “swelling?” “maybe because it looks cool?”. I had no idea.

Now, after weeks of practicing both lasso and spider guard, I’ve found out why: aggressive blistering! Time to start taping up my fingers, luckily I found a video made by Ronda Rousey detailing out the process. What a great resource the internet is.

Spider Guard Passes

We worked on spider guard passes today, going through three different options from standing:

  1. Grab the inside of your opponents pants at the ankles, choose a side, then step on the inside of their leg to break the guard and move into side control. This one worked fairly well for me. During drilling I found it helped to fake to one side, then switch to the other.
  2. Grab the inside of your opponents pants at the ankles, choose a side, then perform a knee slice. I could never get this to work.
  3. Grab the inside of your opponents pants at the ankles, choose a side, push your opponents legs to that side while taking a knee, then place your forehead on the ground while “stapling” your opponents shin to the ground with your shin. With your forehead still on the ground, vault over your opponents legs into side control. I tried this third one several times, and could never complete it, but it did confuse the hell out of my opponents.

Example of guard pass #1

For sweeping from Spider Guard, I had really good luck waiting until my opponent was close enough, then grabbing their ankles and pushing with my feet. Simple but effective.

Goals for next class:

  1. Attempt some triangles
  2. Don’t get arm barred

Picks of the Week and The BEST Oktoberfest Beers

/ Matt Lutz

 

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Traditional Beer Drinking

Hello Americans! Today’s pick of the week is tomorrow’s game between the packers and vikings. Minnesotans have informed me that these two teams are huge rivals, this is the first I’ve heard of it though.

It’s also October, which means one thing: Oktoberfest beers.

Oktoberfest beers are described as being copper-red, with a full-bodied maltiness, and a little spicy. I’ve drank quite a few this fall. here are the best three.

#3 – New Glarus Staghorn Oktoberfest

new-glarus-brewing-staghorn

I’ve had this one from the tap at Oktoberfest in New Glarus, WI, and man is it good. Full of that malty goodness and deer flavor us Mid-westerners crave. Not as good from the bottle though.

#2 – Old Style Oktoberfest

2017-10-14 11_46_47-Matthew is drinking a Old Style Oktoberfest by Pabst Brewing Company on Untappd

Here I have placed Old Style in my New Glarus mug from 2011. Insanity!

They serve this one at the huge Oktoberfest in La Crosse, WI, which is the one time of year locals exit the thousands upon thousands of bars in La Crosse and decide to drink outside.

It comes in an un-pretentious 16 oz can that will fill up your stein. Nothing too outrageous, just a really nice beer.

RUNNER UP – Surly SurlyFest

Surly-Brewing-Co-SURLYFEST-black-beauty-72dpi

This is the best Oktoberfest beer, but on the can it clearly explains that it isn’t technically an Oktoberfest beer because of the types of hops they use. Whatever! But thank you Surly for sticking by an arbitrary set of standards created by a council of uptight Germans.

#1 – Schell’s Oktoberfest

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Man, this one is good. Crisp, malty, refreshing. Everything a good Oktoberfest beer should be. It’s like drinking a painting of a mid autumn Vermont forest.

Now keep in mind, these aren’t opinions, they’re facts. Facts 100% backed up by science and logic. If you disagree with these rankings you are objectively wrong and should fell very ashamed.

Here are your picks of the week!

Lilah and Mugsy

Mila was napping most of the day, so here is her PHOTO pick of the week:

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Lilah –    minnesota-vikings-helmet-logo_2006-present

Mugsy – minnesota-vikings-helmet-logo_2006-present

Mila    –  minnesota-vikings-helmet-logo_2006-present

Good luck and God Bless America!

 

Great News! I Have Sold the State to the Chinese

/ Matt Lutz / Leave a comment

By Scott Walker – Governor of Wisconsinwalker

Hello fellow Wisconsinites, or should I say “Foxconnsinites”? Ha ha ha! In case you have not heard the news, I worked out the deal of a lifetime with my best friend President Trump, and as a result, the Taiwan based electronics manufacturer Foxconn will be building a 10-billion-dollar facility in the Racine area! The factory will produce LCD screens, which are those little windows on your phone that look like miniature TVs. It’s wonderful to know we’ll be able to play Candy Crush on a screen that was manufactured in the great state of Wisconsin.

Now you may have heard a few nay-sayers in the liberal media (gross!). I can assure you they’re all wrong. I’d like to address a few concerns that have come to my attention:

Hey hold on Scooter, aren’t the Chinese communists? No! I was worried about this at first too, but apparently, these are the NON-COMMUNIST Chinese that live off the mainland on a magical capitalist Disneyland Island called “Taiwan”. President Trump, and my new friend Foxconn founder Terry Gou, tell me it’s a mystical place free from the corruption of labor unions and socialized medicine. Golly, it’s a good thing they don’t have the Green Bay Packers and Spotted Cow or I might just move there!

Some smelly bearded liberal told me our new friends aren’t going to pay any taxes. Taxes are like avocados: if you like them so much you should move to California. Low taxes are why people live in our great state, and I bet that $5 I saved you on your property taxes last year bought you a pretty delicious butter-burger at Culvers. Reaganomics baby! Pure red blooded conservatism!

Are we really changing the name of the state to Foxconnsin? Yes, this one is true. We are also changing the state motto from “Forward” to “Forward Towards a Unified Taiwan”. I’m not sure what this means but Terry tells me not to worry about it.

What’s the deal with this mandatory conscription into something called “His Holy Premier’s Unification Army”? Listen, do you cow fucking morons want the factory or not?

Overall, this seems like a really good deal and you and Donald Trump are very smart for setting this all up! You are correct!

Hopefully this has cleared up any concerns you’ve had. Terry has told me he chose Foxconnsin as the location for his new factory due to our hard working populace, infrastructure, and the availability of nylon for suicide nets. As much as I would like to take full credit for this deal, it’s you, my fellow Foxconnsinites, that I really should be thanking!

Please remember this in 2018 or you will fall victim to my swift and violent revenge. God Bless!